Tags
bad service, forgiveness, gentleness, God, Golden Rule, Gospel of Matthew, Jesus, Matthew, Matthew 6:12, NLT, retaliation, revenge, road rage, Turning the other cheek
“I am gentle.” -Jesus
I wanted to throw my food on the floor in the restaurant for the lousy food and service, I wanted to keep putting quarters in the dryer to annoy the lady in the laundry room that was rude and impatient to have her be there longer waiting for me to finish, I wanted to cuss out the guy who drove like an idiot on the roadway. And then I think of the elementary students I have who I am teaching to “Follow the Golden Rule.” (Luke 6:31) I also think of the model prayer Jesus taught which says to “…forgive us our debts, as we have also forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) I think of an anonymous quote , “Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a battle” or that “hurt people… …they hurt people.”
The world we live in focuses on revenge and retaliation, but I want to focus on gentleness right now in my life. I look at all aspects of my life, and I have noticed that gentleness is definitely an “underrated quality”, yet it is a quality that has enriched my life in so many ways.
Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11: 29 NLT)
I find it very profound that Jesus, God Incarnate, the all powerful, described Himself as “humble” and “gentle at heart”.
I have noticed that in ALL areas of my life I have to be “humble” and “gentle” to be successful in my job as an elementary school teacher dealing with parents and other teachers, resolving conflict with my wife as a husband, maintaining friendships, and dealing with difficult family members, and also (like last night) confronting a restaurant manager for my messed up food order. I have to be brutally honest to get my points across and to communicate clearly, yet I have to do it a gentle way to not get someone defensive and angry.
In all of these situations, the gentle spirit is the one who can bring up difficult issues in a non-condemning and non-emotionally explosive way. I have noticed that even if a person may be right on a topic, if they are abrasive, harsh, or demeaning, that person has won a battle, but they have lost the war in any closeness in the relationship.
I think of the famous verse, “If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.” (Matthew 5:39b NLT) This verse isn’t meant to be a pushover or door mat (Jesus drove people out of the temple with a whip he made, and he also overturned tables in righteous anger. All feelings He was entitled to have, and actions He was entitled to do in His “house”, for Jesus never sinned.) The context of this verse is to be someone who defuses a harsh rhetoric and physically violent situations instead of escalating the harsh rhetoric and physically violent situations. When someone tries to escalate a situation with a disrespectful slap to our face, we are to defuse the situation and not escalate it with a slap back.
It is like those school ground fights. They seem to never start with a punch to the face, but with insults back and forth, encouragement from the crowed, “Fight! Fight!”, a push, a push back, a slap, a punch, and now a full on fight has begun.
The “turn the other cheek verse” isn’t a verse to be someone’s punching bag because even Jesus made a whip and drove people out of the temple, and He also commanded His disciples to buy a sword in Luke 22:36. It is a verse for us to want to be peacemakers in this world, and not violent and uncaring men. Jesus even says, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9 NIV)
I want to close with the thought that all of my friends who I have cared the deepest for are ones who have “stabbed me in the front.” Meaning, friends who can confront me in love and gentleness calling me out on destructive behavior, but they do it in a gentle way that when the conversation is over, we walk away deeper friends knowing that through trials and turbulence are friendship is deep and strong that can conquer any problem. I have learned this the most with my wife’s and my crazy arguments where we both come out the other side gentler more respectful people who have a deeper relationship due to us confronting each other in a gentle spirit (or us finally reconciling in gentleness and respect). I like to call it to “move in love”. Sometimes I get very hot headed in confrontation, and my life long goal is to “move in love” in confronting these situations with the greatest gentleness.
I hope we are both filled with the fruit of the spirit this week, and to be like Jesus. Why should we? Because we are His disciples!!!!!!! 🙂